In the quiet, we acknowledge that our real enemy isn't the other person. . . I don't always realize this in the heat of the moment, but in the quiet, I can remind myself of the truth and choose a strategy for responding with self-control. . . In the quiet, I can rest assured God will use this conflict for good- no matter how it turns out" (78 emphases added). I used to be "The (horrible, selfish, insecure) Exploder Who Blames (with all fury, all misunderstanding) others. It was as if I was strangling myself when these moments would rise and my voice as well, my accusations, yet my heart would feel as if it had been shot by a thousand led dripping arrows. (Doesn't really make sense, does it? Hurting doesn't always have to make sense to be present, but it sure caresses a clenched heart, then we go and try to offer that clenched heart to God.) Pray, pray, pray, pray. Always, always remember, Ephesians 6:16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
Chapter V really cut straight to my heart. I have always had a problem with my father, we never had that "father/daughter" bond you would normally see in a family, on the contrary, we barely said a word to each other without being offensive, nonetheless embrace. Being the only Christian in my household, (after a few years) it became clear to me that the other person is not the enemy. My father is not the enemy, the person hurting you is not the enemy! The enemy uses our loved ones, our friends, our brothers and sisters in Christ to try to stop us from walking with Christ, to try to stop us from praising and exalting the Holy one and end up spitting filthy flames on the seeds planted, the seeds that could be planted. Take heart with your afflictions, Christ Jesus has overcome the world!
Am I really prepared to lose my life to an incident as small as a cell to God, to the omnipotent, uncreated God, Creator of the universe? That is the question that constantly waltzed in my mind, and still does, and as I'm reading Chapter V, I inhale it's pleasant aroma. I come unglued, I am human, but, I am created by God, for God, with a purpose. I am not a waste, I am not falling into lies.
1 Peter 5:8 NIV84
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
Your enemy the devil!
Take heart, pray, pray, and seek God.
Self-control, will not come out of the blue.
It takes time, love, and prayer.